What Thanksgiving Means To Me

Thanksgiving is my absolute favorite holiday. I have wonderful memories of Turkey
Day at my MomMom's house with lots of food, family, and fun. My aunt, uncle, and cousins, from Ohio, would always come into town and we would just spend the entire weekend together doing house projects for MomMom, playing games, going to the park, etc. It was just so wonderful to be together. And MomMom was such a special woman. I miss her so much - she is who helped give me my love for cooking and feeding the masses. I had no idea when I was little that the masses would live under my roof! I know she has a front row seat in Heaven for all the antics of my boys and Mia and Zeke too.

Anyway, Thanksgiving remains my favorite because it is about the people and not the things. I love that it comes first because I really think that it would get lost if it came after Christmas. My rule has always been, "NO CHRISTMAS BEFORE THANKSGIVING DINNER!" That means lights, music, movies - everything! I'm sorry if you don't agree, but it really just does mean that much to me. The things that we are most thankful for do not change like technology does. Our salvation, family, love, friendship, etc. are all institutions fueled by God's love and we all know that He doesn't change. He is so constant and boy are we thankful for that! Those are the things that somehow get swept under the the tree skirt hidden underneath all the presents at Christmastime for so many people. PLEASE DON'T GET ME WRONG. I also love Christmas...I (especially now that I have children) just like to start off the season making sure the presence of thankfulness for those most important things in our lives doesn't get pushed aside. Once we eat Thanksgiving dinner - gearing up for Christmastime begins. We watch a Christmas movie - this year it is the new Veggietales "It's a Meaningful Life." Trust me - I am not a grinch by any stretch of the imagination!

This year I have more than ever to be thankful for - my immediate family is complete as we know it, we have four perfect little boys that God has let us borrow for a little while to raise, we all have our health, I am married to my best friend, we have been blessed despite our circumstances, and the list can go on and on and on...

Most importantly, we have a Savior that covers us from our baggage, from all of our yuck. Why wouldn't we want to proclaim Him in all we do and say?

So, I am interested in hearing what your Thanksgiving traditions are. Hope you have a blessed time with family and/or friends and that you can spend time sharing with them all the things you are thankful for!

So much....

to be thankful for. So much to pray about. So much that I can't sleep. Tomorrow, well I guess it's actually this morning, we take Toby for his ENT/Audiology appt. at CHOP. He is well into his therapy and is doing well. We love Maria, his regular therapist and she is so good for him. God certainly knew what he was doing by putting her with Toby. But, I've got to confess, I'm tired. I'm down right exhausted with things right now. This just hasn't been a good week. The pressures of life right now, plus the added "stress" of Toby's quirkiness is really weighing in. We just want to help him and when communication with your two-year-old is limited to less than what you can do with a 12-18 month-old, it gets very frustrating. All I can do is give it to God and sometimes cry with him.
It all became very evident this week how stuck I feel. And I have guilt over that, lots of guilt, because I don't want it to be about me at all. Without sleep Toby really can't function. If he doesn't get his nap, it effects the whole family. And when I say nap, I mean like three hours. So, if I go out in the morning with him, he will definitely fall asleep in the car, which ruins his nap (I have never been successful in transferring him to his bed). If he doesn't get a nap, the rest of the day is shot! It is such a vicious cycle. If we do go out with him, it usually has to be after his nap in the afternoon. We usually choose not to go places if he hasn't napped b/c really what is the point? I also feel bad, but it is so hard to go to other people's houses. I can't sit down and have a conversation, b/c I can't just tell him to stay in a certain area or not to go upstairs, etc. If we get together with people, I might be able to sit and finish one or two sentences if he is in his own environment with his toys, etc. I don't blame him - not in the least. In fact, in the last three months I feel as though I have learned more about God and life from those sweet blue eyes and his "language." I have learned about perseverance, appreciating the small successes, and seeing God's hand in all things. It's just hard.
I know it won't be like this forever, but trying to do what's best for him seems to keep us at home more than I would like. So if we turn down an invitation, please don't take it personally. If you don't see us at Bible class or another church activity, know that we are doing one at home and that we are trying to do what's best for the family. Please love our Toby and all his quirks because he is fearfully and wonderfully made. All of them are. And pray for us that God will give us the strength we need to get through each day, giving each of our boys what they need. Amazingly Ayden and Levi have always just had an understanding about Toby. That is God right there....they are so good to him and he loves his big brothers and wants to do everything that they do. And thank God that CJ is a good sleeper at night and is such a happy baby most times. I am one blessed Momma.
Please also pray for Shawn right now. Still unemployed - it's wearing on him. God has a plan for that too - we know - but it is hard to wait.
Blessings on you - what can I pray for for you?

Left foot, Right foot, Breathe...

So I am definintely NOT as good at blogging as I want to be, but that leads me to today's thought. This past weekend I went with several of my sisters (including my sister-sister, Jenn and my mom - which was really nice) to the Camp Manatawny Ladies Retreat.

This is the second year that I have gone, and once again - in a different way this time - it was truly a blessing. God really knows so much better than we do what we need. Anyway, with all that we as a family have going on right now and the uncertainty of what's to come, one of the speaker's titles really spoke to me. It was "Left foot, Right foot, Breathe." Because the most pressing thing for us right now is Toby and trying to find out what is going on with him, I was able to relate almost everything to him and our difficulties with all of that. It was a really good reminder that God has the big picture already in place. He knows the beginning, middle, and best of all, the end of the story. Today is just a very small piece of it. That's why we need to Left foot, Right foot, Breathe through each moment of each day. God has our best in mind and knows what that is for us. We don't have to stress over the details. With Shawn having been unemployed now for almost 4 months, this has been our mantra. He wouldn't have brought us through this summer to not provide for us now! What a peace that brings - to not have to worry about how He is going to do it! We're just excited to see what and how!
One scripture that a friend of mine showed me just after I got out of the hospital (and was also brought up this weekend) is Exodus 14:13-14. This is Moses talking to the Israelites.

But Moses said to the people, "Do not fear! Stand by and see the salvaton of the Lord which He will accomplish for you today, for the Egyptians whom you have seen today, you will never see them again forever. The Lord will fight for you while you keep silent."

The NIV says, "The Lord will fight you; you need only to be still." How cool is that! Let Him fight for you today and every day. We teach our kids that God is bigger than the boogie man, but do we really believe it? This Left foot, Right foot, Breathe - that really is all that God expects us to do, while we believe that He is fighting for us. Be blessed today! I am constantly reminded that I am!

Up early...

Being up early seems to be the only chance that I will get to blog. With my coffee sitting next to me, the lights out, and the house quiet, I can concentrate. I have wonderful intentions for this thing - but I am still waiting for my live-in nanny to move in or, at least my other six arms to grow - you know, two arms for each kid. A girl can dream, right?

Let's see, since our last chat, I'm sure a lot has happened. Toby's birthday was on the 2nd. What a sweet boy he is! Here's something you can be praying about. Toby has no words. We're not sure whether it is just because his brothers never stop talking and have never given him a reason to need to talk. It could be a hearing issue - I have reason to think that his hearing is at least impaired to some degree. Or, it could be a developmental issue. No matter what the underlying cause is, we have requested that he be evaluated by early intervention and he is eligible for services. So we are accepting whatever help is available to him for as long as he can receive it. He has gotten to the point that he is now very frustrated, and it breaks my heart that in reality I can't communicate effectively with him. We know, though, that God will use this time of learning and adjustment to His glory. Toby will be stronger in the long run and so will we as his parents. I just ask for prayers that we all have the strength to do whatever is necessary to help our sweet boy. It is a little overwhelming at times. Here is a picture of the big guy on his birthday.

Levi just about has potty training defeated. It amazes me what a different experience it was this time around. With Ayden it took nearly a year and a half from start to finish and I have more gray hair from that then from any other experience in my life. With Levi, he went back and forth a couple of times with his interest level, but once I figured out that I needed to completely leave him alone and let him be his little independent pipsqueak self, he figured it out in days. We're not just talking #1, we're talking #2 and most times being clean and dry when he wakes up from nappy and rest time as well. Thank you, God! He wears big boy underwear most of the time, except when sleeping and when we are out somewhere where I know I can't get him to the potty in time, but we are talking very few accidents. They are such different children! With Ayden, the interest wasn't there and I had to force it at 4. With Levi, there is no pressure because he is only 3 and I don't have the time to force the issue, so God definitely knew what he was doing putting which children in what birth order. Here is Levi being Levi.

I am going to do a completely separate post on Ayden once we get started with school. Let's see what other news I can share. We found out last night that we are going to have another nephew. Ryan (Shawn's brother) and his wife, Shathar, are due January 20th and Langston (Shathar's maiden name) will be here to meet us! He's got four, well three, excited cousins. I guess CJ can't really be excited yet. But he will be, though! Boys are so much fun!

CJ is getting so big - it is bittersweet watching him change so fast knowing that he is our last baby. I had to pack up the newborn size clothes...that was sad, sad! But I couldn't ask for a more complete family...there's a lot of love in this house! God has been so good to us!

Well I hear stirring from the boys' room. I better call it quits for now. Have a wonderful weekend. I am working on making this a habit - just give me a little time because it really is a commodity these days!

Here I Go Again...

So I am trying my hand at blogging again. I have missed it, but, in all reality I haven't had the time. This is funny, because I have even less time for it now, but I do enjoy it and want to have a way to recall the things that we experience together as a family. So I am really going to try to make it a priority. We'll see how this goes. Bear with me!

I named this blog Scenes From the Rearview Mirror for two reasons. First, we spend a lot of time in the car. I catch little glimpses of each of them in the mirror and most times I can see them without them knowing that I can see them. I can see them for who they are, without them trying to please or put an act on for me. Most times I like what I see, but there are the moments that I catch them in their weaknesses and pray that my example and others in our life can help them to become the men God wants them to be. I have a lot of reflection time in the car and most of my ideas for writing happen then. My second reason for the title is that I feel we need to look in the rearview mirror to see how far God has brought us, and most importantly to see how faithful he is. I know this firsthand and plan to write extensively about our family's recent experiences. Stay tuned for that...

The reason that I am starting back up at this particular point in time is that I feel our family has been given a new lease on life and we have conciously decided to live our lives with God outloud. We want to live like today is the last - because you really don't know when your last will be. We are in a transition point in the story of our lives that we are truly at peace about. We are excited to see what God's plans for the Bates' are and how the next chapter, in particular, will read.
We do know that God has put it on our heart to homeschool Ayden for his Kindergarten year. And, we are going to be doing some preschool stuff with Levi too. We are thrilled at this opportunity and can't wait for the adventures that we will have together. Life is good and we have so much to be thankful for. I pray that this blog will be a blessing to anyone who happens to read it, and that God will be glorified in the process.